Jasper Vs The PC
by Burning 'Til There's Dark Blue
Summary: When inanimate objects completely hate you, then you know something's wrong. Unless it's a virus-infected PC. Then nothing's wrong, you just have to get an iMac. Jasper just has to explain to Alice and Carlisle why it's broken in the first place.


**Jasper Vs. The PC**

**Disclaimer: **Because everybody loved Jasper Vs. The Rubix Cube, here's a second part to that story! I don't own anything. If I did, I'd be famous. And rich. Alas, I am not, and therefore a certain Good Charlotte song can not be used as my theme song.

*~*~*

Something is seriously wrong with you when inanimate objects start teaming up on you.

I mean, sure, I had gone on a few websites that were probably not trustworthy, but any site that says "Free Book – A History of the Confederacy –Enter To Win" is one that I'll probably click on. But then again, it was one of those blinky boxes up at the top of the screen that never go away – ones like the "Grand Prize" ones. Now honestly, who would click those? But this one was giving away a free Confederate history book!

It never did give me that book. I entered all the stuff that it said, too: credit card number, my name, address, and all of that stuff.

So then I was surfing around, like I tend to do when there's absolutely nothing entertaining to do, when this random pop-up came for antivirus software. Any other person probably wouldn't have downloaded it, but it _seemed _trustworthy enough. So I downloaded it, and it said that there were 57 viruses on my computer. I didn't believe it, so I shut down the computer and walked away.

Then a week later, Alice was trying to find the lyrics to a song, so I went on this other trustworthy website, and I figured that a lyrics website couldn't be all that bad. But for some reason, my computer kept saying otherwise. I found the lyrics to the song, and continued going on with my life.

Throughout the next week, all of these absurd pop-ups, such as dieting, search engines, and – get this – antivirus software. I exited out of them, but after a while, I noticed that the address bar wasn't there anymore.

When the pop-ups started turning into ones that Alice would gladly kill me for looking at, I knew something was wrong, but I had McAfee installed on my PC, so I figured that nothing was going to happen.

Within 24 hours, my 3-year-old Dell E310 desktop was completely unable to work. I lost almost every single photo, document, MP3, and video that I had saved on there.

I did what any other person would do. I walked to a secluded clearing in the middle of the woods, placed the computer in the middle of the clearing, and then destroyed it with a chainsaw.

That's when I realized that it wasn't even my computer to begin with.

*~*~*

"Carlisle, for the last time, I am sorry that I lost your 3 years of cancer research documents, but the computer hated me! It kept being all mean and pop-up filled and stupid. I had to kill it!" I stated. Carlisle was staring at the destroyed pile of metal I had put in the trash can.

"Why were you even on my computer in the first place?" I could see that his innate calm was slowly disappearing, but he did have a good excuse.

"Because I don't have my own computer!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't."

"Oh yeah? What happened to it?"

"I threw it off a cliff."

"_Why?"_

"It wouldn't let me go on MySpace."

"SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A MYSPACE?!"

"It was Alice's idea!"

"DELETE THE MYSPACE RIGHT NOW, JASPER!"

"I can't!"

"WHY?!"

"Because the computer's broken."

*~*~*

"So how long are you grounded for?" Alice asked, looking around the Apple store.

"I'm not grounded. I just have to buy an iMac to replace all the computers I broke." I explained.

"Again?"

"Yep."

"Jasper?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you kill _your _computer?"

"Because it had a colorful screensaver that reminded me of the accursed Rubix Cube."

"Good God, Jasper."

*~*~*

**A/N: **Yeah, that's pretty much what happened to my PC, aside from the chainsaw part. I got mad at it for all of the pop-ups, and I lost 3 years of documents. But now I have an iMac! Yay! REVIEW!


End file.
